EFT RELATIONSHIP THERAPY
'Your goal is not to find love, but to remove all barriers which are preventing you from receiving it.'
– Rumi​
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Emotionally Focussed Couples Therapy focuses, within a 100% non-blaming framework, on identifying the negative cycle that you uniquely repeat in your relationship dynamic. Your pattern of conflict - in your attack/defend/retreat cycles - is your distinctive and predictable co-created dynamic that you each automatically and subconsciously contribute to. With insight into deep-rooted emotionally charged attachment needs and fears that contribute to this engrained, destructive dynamic, you will understand how you trigger one another and learn to pause and respond rather than react, defend or avoid, so that change, growth and mutual understanding become possible.
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Conflict can be an opportunity for communication and intimacy. You will learn new skills to communicate and interact with compassion and share your real feelings with honesty and accountability in a non-blaming way. You will learn to empathise with one another’s experience and seek to counter conflict and confrontation with empathy and acceptance. ​It is the beginning of a shared perspective to find a place of constructive connection brought about by communication and trust.
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You will learn to embrace your differences and practice acceptance, challenging your own expectations and preconceptions whilst communicating your needs and sharing your feelings in healthy, constructive and effective dialogue. This way you take accountability for your own part in the dynamic to build on a foundation of mutual care, learning to understand how you each cope, or communicate, or indeed love, differently. You will deepen your trust, lessen your reactivity and increasingly give your partner the benefit of the doubt. And when you can't, you will have the communication skills and insights to manage and repair the inevitable ruptures that occur in any relationship. We are all wonderfully complex and often messy creatures and the capacity and skills required to repair these ruptures is what makes a healthy relationship an ongoing negotiation of mutuality and support that brings sufficient security and fulfilment that we all seek in our attachment bonds.
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